My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. ~Mark Twain
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. ~Rita Rudner
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ~Calvin Trillin
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. ~Andrew S. Tanenbaum
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. ~Ogden Nash
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. ~Bertrand Russell
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